2018, wow.

You know that saying “Shit Happens?” Insert that saying here.

2018 forced me to accept some life changes I wasn’t ready for, but I made it (with 2 days to spare)–and I learned so much about myself in the process.

When I was in Patagonia in April, I learned about a small group of flamingos that inhabited the cold wilderness at one of the southern most points of South America. Relatives to the Andean flamingos in northern Chile, these adorable pink birds can survive some of the harshest weather conditions. They stand on one leg to conserve body heat, while facing directly into the wind so that the water doesn’t seep into their feathers. Sometimes the temperature drops low enough that the flamingos actually get frozen into the water overnight! Not to worry, though. They eventually thaw out in the morning.  Absolutely crazy!

At this point you might be asking yourself, what do these flamingos have to do with 2018? Well—everything.

2018 was the year of change. To me, the whole concept of change is almost ironic. Everyone goes through it. In fact, most people even search for it. At the start of each New Year, we all look to change a certain behavior, a certain lifestyle, or a certain something about ourselves and/or surroundings that we don’t particularly enjoy.

However 80% of resolutions fail by February. I believe that the irony surrounding change lies in the fact that we don’t always like it. At least not at first. Change can be unbelievably uncomfortable.

As a teacher, I always told my students that change is great. New beginnings bring new opportunities, and new opportunities should be celebrated. I definitely did not look at all of my changes, self-created or not, with the same sense of optimism that I preached to my students.

I went through many life changes in 2018, and I’ll be the first to admit that I wasn’t great at handling all of them. I became single for the first time in 4 years. I found myself home most weekends I wasn’t traveling because I lost people who I thought were my friends. (Side note: divorce isn’t contagious. Relax, people). I started my own business Ventre’s Adventures, which is a huge investment—one of time, money, and wayyyyy too many Instagram pictures.

I was hopeful and eager for new opportunities, but I actually found myself…insecure.

  • A failed marriage brought insecurities to new relationships.
  • Weekends home led to insecurities of “missing out.”
  • New business ventures led to insecurities and doubts of success.

I dealt with many of those insecurities through traveling. I figured if I could push myself far out of my comfort zone, than real life would get easier. So in 2018, I ventured—far. I traveled to 10 countries in 6 months, and I thought about not returning quite a few times. Creating a new reality seemed easier than dealing with all of the changes that had become my new norm.

Through each adventure, change became easier, and some of my insecurities eventually faded. Similar to the flamingos in Patagonia that were once frozen in water, I “thawed” and became a little more comfortable with my new conditions. It definitely was not an overnight process. I overanalyzed, overthought, and got in my own head.

But, slowly, I began to accept and face the changes head on.

My resolution for 2019 is much different than previous years. Instead of seeking self-change, I am seeking self-acceptance…and, I challenge you to do the same. Change is inevitable, and at some point in 2019 we are all going to be faced with it whether we wanted to or not. When that change does happen we have two options: we can remain frozen, or we can “thaw.”

So no matter what you decide your resolution to be in 2019, (weight loss, career change, relocation etc.), I hope your change brings you peace and, most importantly, self-acceptance.

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”
― Lao Tzu